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two animals half dead

May 15, 2021 by whatwhippedcreamismadeof

Neither the quail nor cat ran fast enough. I hit both of them, taking them both for dead, until I glanced in my rear view mirror. The quail was frantically flapping it’s wings, going nowhere. The tires must’ve pinned it’s tail and toes to the asphalt. I made myself not feel bad by focusing on the fresh road meal I just gifted a hawk or coyote. It was a little harder to squash the bad feelings with the cat. The […]

Categories: snippets • Tags: birds, cat, death, life, new mexico, pets, quail, roadkill

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three bitches, me, and a stud

April 18, 2021 by whatwhippedcreamismadeof

The stud snorts hog-style when he’s excited. It’s not sexy. I wonder about being a horny therianthrope, with the stud available as an eager participant. He’s cool and collected on the outside, his ice blue eyes concealing all emotion. The wind wafts particles of New Mexican clay soil off his Australian Shepard blue merle coat into the air, into my eyes. For the briefest moment they are irritated enough that looks don’t matter. He loses his cool with the possibility […]

Categories: snippets • Tags: misophonia, therianthrope

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delayed takes on reality p2: 1/3 of 3/4 of a threesome

May 6, 2019 by whatwhippedcreamismadeof

45 + 33 + 36 They work on me like they’re earning commission. I bob up and down in the bubbly water, ears submerged, lost in the sound of the jets while Arlo dedicates his attention below the waist and Ikey takes care of above. Arlo comes up for air to say how much more enticing hot tub sex is in theory than in reality. They switch. Later in bed Arlo asks me how it feels to be the babe […]

Categories: secrets, snippets • Tags: babe, forest, hot tub, sex

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when you

July 28, 2016 by whatwhippedcreamismadeof

spin a globe not because you want to travel or understand geography but because your fingertips need relief.

Categories: snippets, Uncategorized • Tags: childhood, geography, globe, nostalgia, puns

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A+ invite

May 16, 2015 by whatwhippedcreamismadeof

I got hit in the balls playing soccer and am going to see a urologist. Girl at the desk asked me to check my ejaculate for blood. Would be much more fun to have some help producing and looking through my cum instead of all manual!!

Categories: snippets • Tags: blood, invitation, men, soccer

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“Is she that poem

May 16, 2015 by whatwhippedcreamismadeof

you want to read over and over again? If so, then you might as well buy the book.” Jane shared this thought with me on the phone during the drive home. I loved it. Then a friend posted this on facebook: WARNING! TEAR JERKER ALERT! Then I thought about this app I downloaded awhile back for laughs called “AgingBooth.” I aged everyone who meant anything to me. One of my best friends and I looked like sisters, even though he’s […]

Categories: snippets • Tags: aging, agingbooth, love, upworthy

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and it’s sara without an “h”

May 5, 2015 by whatwhippedcreamismadeof

But there’s another Sarah, one with an “h.” I have a print of two koi fish on top of my wall to wall bookcase in the laundry room. (I love that my library is in the laundry room.) Every time I look at it I think of her. She made it. She was my future wife. She was one of those people who you wouldn’t notice even if they were standing right in front of you. Her lips were always limp, creating […]

Categories: snippets • Tags: harp, memories, mosaic, Pacific Palisades

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I do.

October 25, 2014 by whatwhippedcreamismadeof

Do you ever avoid work by trimming your toenails and coating your feet in rosehip seed oil and shea butter? Do you ever avoid work by tracing your veins with your nails and moisturizing until there’s no longer a dusty trail of white skin? Do you ever avoid work by going to the kitchen barefoot to peel, cube, and salt two eggplants? Do you ever avoid work by sitting on the floor in front of your laptop, staring at your post […]

Categories: snippets • Tags: eggplant, feet, salt, Saturday, work from home

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the mechanic

May 7, 2014 by whatwhippedcreamismadeof

“You can’t fuck my mechanic.” “I AM going to fuck your mechanic. I know what he looks like.” “What? You know him? How?” “‘Cuz he’s my mechanic, too.” I described him and the vehicle he showed up in. He was sad. Like his secret had gotten out. The dude’s on yelp for goodness sake. He’s a mechanic that COMES TO YOUR HOUSE. Everyone’s going to fuck him.

Categories: snippets • Tags: automotive, door to door service, mechanic, yelp

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sitting on a tree trunk

May 7, 2014 by whatwhippedcreamismadeof

He told me he had a love/hate relationship with him. “How so?” “Well, he loves me, and I hate him.” “I don’t think that’s what’s meant by ‘love/hate relationship.’” “Oh…………………………………………………………………really?”

Categories: snippets • Tags: a moment in time I can't seem to forget

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