a couple of whys

I stare at you because you amaze me. Most of the time there’s no expression on my face because I’m deep in wonder…wondering where you came from, wondering what’s going on in your mind, wondering why we do what we do to each other. Now that I know I stare, I’ve been shifting my glance and/or smiling if I do want to stare, as requested. Both shifting my glance and/or smiling breaks my train of thought. I’m not sure I like it.

I cry so often because I don’t have the words to express what I’m feeling at the time and I feel a lot when around you. I feel things that are new to me: open-hearted, absorbed, safe, secure, thankful, heavy-hearted, broken, fatigued, and anxious mainly…all at once. It felt good to say “I’m feeling a lot right now” earlier and for you to accept it.

Thank you.

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