You asked if I was interested in reconnecting. I’m interested in reconnecting with the person who I’m losing right now, and it isn’t you. I’m interested in you reconnecting with the person who I am losing, and it isn’t me. My eyes burn and water, just the way they used to every time I’d drive through Alameda. They don’t anymore. Alameda doesn’t make me cry. I thought it did. What makes me cry is that you are Love and Truth […]
Categories: secrets
Bacon is an old love of mine. Today the love is just a memory, but if I’m reminded about how I once felt, I’ll end up at a food truck, mindfully eating a bacon grilled cheese, paying attention to whether those original feelings still exist. The food truck is in Alameda. The original feelings don’t exist. My taste has changed and I prefer different flavors and textures now. Bacon had its run and it was a good one. I don’t […]
Categories: secrets
There was a time in my life when I embraced strange men and the experiences that came with them. Lunch or dinner lead to me being wrapped in duct tape and modeling for photography sessions. Overweight gold chained characters, heavy on the gray chest hair, fed me fried ice cream. Lovers two and a half times my age stained motel carpets with red candle wax. Store owners closed shop early for backroom boogy. And today I guess I’m not too […]
Categories: secrets, stories • Tags: anger, art, BART, butt crack, El Cerrito, Japan, jaul, life story, short story, whiskey
Something I’ve never been good at is doing things abruptly. Everything requires immense planning and preparation. Removing adhesive bandages off my hairy arms always requires a warm bath, clean towels, and an oversized robe; there is no such thing as just yanking off a Band-Aid. The same goes with bringing people into my life and letting them go — it’s a process. Awhile back, when I barely knew Jonah, I had the oddest feeling he was going to politely ask me to exit his life. It took me […]
Categories: secrets
The uniform I had to wear was ill fitting. Looking in the mirror was looking at a sack of potatoes on it’s way to private school. I was at an age where I wanted to show off my body and owned a sewing machine and tumble dryer. It only took a few hours to shrink the garments and take in the waists on the cardigans and shirts. The cardigan no longer buttoned. My left and right breasts were rivals, creating […]
Categories: secrets
For many people, being wanted is a long, painful battle. Just to live life and to feel like a needed human being we have to arm ourselves with artillery and pick a side. The common gal combats love with a mist of perfume on her neck and stained lips. She wins her dinner party by going to Whole Foods to pick up a steaming quart of rice pilaf and comes home to serve it in Heath ceramic bowls. But for […]
Categories: secrets
“I am asking you Andrea, to give me a chance. I promise you that if you allow yourself to get to know me through your heart, through your experience of me, and our time together, you will be glad you did. You will find that I am thoughtful, forgiving, Loving, and fun. And if we decide we want to know what it is like to be together, you will find yourself being Loved in a way that you never thought […]
Categories: secrets
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